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specialists in enhancement and management of human performance |
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During the fall of 1999, my life was a roller coaster, going from emotional highs to pain, anxiety and frustration and back again. I was in a serious car accident. Fortunately, I've been making a full recovery, but dealing with the emotional and physical consequences of the accident has obviously been challenging. This accident has caused me to examine my beliefs and perceptions. I always thought that if you worked hard and did the right things, eventually you'd get where you want to go. Life's ups and downs were part of the plan. Things had been looking quite good: new clients, several new articles were to be published, and I was working on an exciting media project. Many of my dreams, in many areas, were coming true. I had to face some tough questions, including: If I couldn't work for a while (perhaps months), did that mean I'm not contributing, not making a difference? If I told my clients I couldn't deliver, or had to reschedule (maybe more than once), would they understand? Would I lose their business? With no definite "end" in sight, how could I keep my business alive, in front of people, so they don't forget me? So many people were helping me. Was I being a burden to them? Always an active person, I was forced to accept "slow" as my normal pace. Suddenly, I have physical limitations, albeit temporary ones. What if this suddenly happened to you? Deep down, we all think debilitating illness or some other disaster won't happen to us. But the truth is it can, and quite unexpectedly. When it does, we're unprepared for the impact it can have. Simple things -- like driving a car, opening heavy doors or lifting things -- suddenly become difficult. Being able to work, even thinking straight, can become impossible. I learned many lessons from this experience. Some of them are: "Letting go" is important. People really do understand, and they want to help. Asking for and accepting help isn't about being helpless. It's about allowing others to be of service. That's your gift to them. Despite the trait of self-sufficiency that helps business people achieve success, all great things happened out of other's participation. Don't just delegate, find others that want to take ownership and contribute. Sitting still and resting are vital to recovery. Doing too much sets you back. Working consistently long hours will NOT not necessarily increase your productivity, and will likely diminish the quality of your thinking and results. Take breaks to rest your body and mind, give perspective and renewed energy. Balance your life. If what you're doing isn't getting the results you want, do ANYTHING else. Patience is an invaluable skill to have, especially with yourself. Working, growing a business, even striking out in new, exciting directions: when big returns aren't forthcoming, celebrate every small success you can, and take a longer term view. Want to know what opportunities I see out of this experience? Yes, I said opportunities. Even with the pain, frustration, and my dashed hopes for a quick recovery, I kept finding silver linings! One of the opportunities is, when the chips are down and you open your heart to others, people reach out to help. I learned that rushing around to get ahead may not be as important as the quality of the relationships we have. That's where the spirit and vitality of life are -- in how we connect with others. Insisting on being independent may not be as crucial as nurturing our interdependence. I've really found out who my friends are. Their depth of caring and support often leaves me speechless. And so very grateful. Business opportunities continued to come my way, while I was not able to pursue them. People looked out for my business welfare as well as my physical well-being. New alliances developed, bringing the possibilities of more business, while I healed. Maybe this accident -- as traumatic, disruptive, and life-altering as it's been -- has its golden side. Discovering I have a net of love and support to count on could be the greatest achievement of all. Think about it.
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"Many people insist that becoming more and more independent
is a sign of progress in life." -- Wendy Lustbader, Counting
on Kindness: The Dilemmas of Dependency, The Free Press,
1991.