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specialists in enhancement and management of human performance |
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Amy, my five-year-old niece spent an afternoon with her father at work. That evening at dinner, I asked her what she thought her daddy got paid for doing. "Oh, daddy talks a lot to people. He listens, too." In modern commerce, the days of clubs, shovels and whips are over for managers. Now we language throughout our daily jobs. Yet most executives pay little, if any, attention to the most powerful tools they have: the words they use. To a great degree, all language is hypnotic. It alters people's mental processes and emotional states. Words redirect our conscious attention. They persuade, calm, bore and inspire us. Your position as an executive or manager amplifies your words for better, or for worse. In essence your words change your employee's minds. Executives' words usually come in the form of statements, commands or, most often, questions. You can gain a significant edge in managing and motivating your staff and clients if you understand the subtle power hidden in every question you utter. We all know an authentic question is a request for information. What very few realize is that a question always carries with it an instruction. Hidden somewhere within the verbs and connotations of the words is a directive to the listener's mind about how to get an answer. This is the part of a question that 99 out of 100 managers never consider. Have you? Not knowing what instruction is carried in a question dramatically alters the quality of your conversations. I see this often in my staffing seminars. During a job interview a manager asks the candidate, "What would you do if you were on a team and one of your coworkers wasn't doing their part? How would you handle that?" Sounds pretty good. But this question just instructed the candidate to create a fantasy, a fairy tale. Guess who is going to be the prince or princess. The instruction to make up a ideal story rode on the words, would you do if which tells a mind to create a future perfect answer. Notice what happens if we maintain the request for information, but alter the instruction: "Tell me about a time when you worked with a team and one of your coworkers wasn't doing the job. How did you handle that and what were the results?" Now the candidate must think about the past and report on real behavior. And as we all know, there's a world of difference between 'coulda' or 'woulda' and 'actually did'. Here's the most neglectful question in business. I hear it more often than any other in sales calls and situations where a speaker desperately wants a commitment to action. The problem is this question always stops action. The culprit is a simple, "Well, what do you think?" Picture this. Your VP of Marketing, Sam Taylor, is finishing up a brilliant presentation to the client's conservative budget committee. Sam needs their quick approval for advertising to take the product launch to the next level. He sums up his hard-hitting arguments for ROI and first-to-market. He switches off the PowerPoint, turns to the group a says, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, what do you think?" People sit back in their chairs. Smiles fade to introspective frowns. Silence reigns. Then one of the leaders volunteers, "Great presentation, Mr. Taylor, we'll get back to you." Sam is cross-eyed with the delay. And he's clueless to the fact that the committee is just doing what he told them to do in his question. They are following his instruction and "thinking about it." If Sam wanted action, he should have instructed for it: "How would you like to proceed?" or "So, what's our next step?" or "What we need is.... Can we do this today?" Am I suggesting that you banish, "What do you think?" from your language? No. I am pressing you to realize that it STOPS action. So use it when you want to slow down a process. Here's one more killer app in the world of PowerWords. In English, the word, 'concern', has a negative connotation or feeling. If I want to elicit problems, I simply ask, "What concerns do you have about _______?" That question instructs the listener's mind to go find problems about ________. I use this question in sales inquiries and persuasions of all kinds. "What concerns do you have about your current vendor?" "What concerns do you have about keeping your most talented staff members?" But I never ask, "What concerns do you have about paying me?" Remember your words carry weight. People's minds are always listening for hints and instructions in conversations. (Unfortunately, often to simply cover their rears.) Every question you ask carries an instruction. Make sure that your question's instruction is the one you want to deliver. It's your exec's edge. So, how would you like to proceed? (NOTE: Allies Consulting offers a menu of programs that can help you become masterful at your performance skills, in managing, sales or other critical activities. They will meet or exceed your expectations: they are designed to deliver real results. They also leverage our other programs, magnifying your ROI!)
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